Why You Are Still Single

My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,

Are you in your 30s suffering from being single?

Is everyone getting married around you and you keep asking: “When is my turn”?

Is everyone pressuring you into marriage because “your biological clock is ticking”?

If you are in one of these situations, please know you’re not alone. I have also suffered the same remarks and I have addressed them in a former post on this blog.

But today, I will address the reasons why you are still single. Maybe you’ll be less concerned with your situation.

No, you are not single because you are ugly – there’s no ugly women, only lazy women.

No, you are not single because you are too smart for men – I swear that I heard that…

No, you are not single because you have any mental defects – I’ve seen really stupid women getting married.

So, now that we have clarified that, let’s examine the reasons why you are still single.

Ready? Go!

Reason #1: Your appointed time has not come yet

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Don’t cry because you’re not married yet! It may just mean that your time has not come.

Only the Lord knows why he allows some people to get married early, and others to marry later. Everyone has his own destiny and the Lord handles them in His hands.

So, this is my advice: if your time has not come, don’t force things. Of course, live your life as usual, be a little bit social, but don’t force things. I insist. And I speak by experience.

When your appointed person will show up, your relationship will flow naturally, as if you’ve always known each other.

Look at Isaac and Rebekah. They didn’t know each other. Their marriage was arranged. But when they met, it was love at first sight and everything was just natural between them.

Why? Because it was a match made in heaven. Never forget that when you think about your own singleness (sorry, I don’t like the word “spinsterhood” – age doesn’t matter anymore).

Don’t worry about your age! Nowadays, women get married in their 40s and even in their 50s. Just be open to opportunities and live your life to the full!

Reason #2: Marriage is not your calling

For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

1 Corinthians 7:7

Being single is a gift from the Lord. Yes, I know it’s hard to hear because it’s not a gift you choose to nurture. Generally, when you think of gifts, you think of singing, preaching, writing, or any other artistic venture.

But you never hear about singleness. Well, the Scripture says it is. Don’t be angry at me now, I am not the Apostle Paul. Or even Jesus Himself who said:

But He said to them, all cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.

Matthew 19: 11-12

You see? There is a pattern here. Maybe you’re called to a specific ministry for God and that you don’t know about it because you are too focused on your daily hassles.

And you don’t listen to the voice of the Lord who calls you. Maybe you are meant to be a prophetess. Or have a women’s ministry. Or serve the Lord with your current job. Who knows?

Also, being single has its advantages that married people will never share with you. When you see married people in a crowd looking happy and in love, please know that this is a social mask.

Marriage is a difficult adventure because you have to adapt to a person who has different habits, a different way of living, a different upbringing…

Marriage is not as easy as married people want to make it believe. And it’s high time single people stopped idealizing marriage. Married people have problems that you don’t meet as a single person.

Reason #3: Your mind is not into marriage

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. 

Proverbs 23:7

You may be single because your mind is not open to marriage. You have other plans and marriage is not part of it.

Maybe you have a demanding career. Maybe you decided to focus on your studies. And that’s a good thing.

If you want a man in your life and that you are in this situation, why don’t make a little place in your life for him at the beginning? Your love life will thank you.

Reason #4: You are not really “single”

When I say that you are not married because you’re not single, it’s because you’re not single in your heart.

You may still be in a relationship with your ex that didn’t really end. You may not have processed your last break-up.

In this case, stop your madness. This man is your ex for a reason. Stop going back and forth and focus on someone else.

If you’re not done with your last break-up, cry. Yes, you heard me. CRY. Pray to the Lord. And start focusing on your future husband.

Now you know why you’re still single. And don’t worry, you’ll find your Prince Charming one day! Just trust the Lord and be faithful to Him. A miracle can happen in your life very soon.

Well, that’s all for today! What do you think of these reasons? Do you see another reason why you’re still single? Please share in the comments below!

Stay blessed!

Read also:

What Is The Best Age to Get Married?

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God bless you all!


  1. Karin says:

    Hi there,

    Very interesting topic. Tough I have long past that critical age of everyone wanting to see you getting married ( I am 55 and a single mom ), the subject remains relevant for your generation.

    The pressure was all on me then as well. I never married, because I know now picked the wrong guys to be with. As such, I wasted a long time down the road. And now life is comfortable on my own. The older one gets, the more difficult it si to find ones soulmate.

    God luck on your road !

    • angelce says:

      Thank you !

      • Faith Ohwofasa says:

        This came very timely. It is empowering and comforting. God bless you

        • angelce says:

          I’m happy my post did help you. God bless you too!

        • Fenovelero says:

          Hi! The best age to get married is between 26 to 30, but  you are still single at that age, definitely is not your mistake. Everyone have their own destiny. In any time God has his way way about everything.

          Yes, precisely, everything have a pattern and you don’t need to find, destiny is happen anytime, maybe you’re to hassle for now and no time to look around. Maybe your partner is just around you but because your timing is not yet come so that’s why you are still still single at your age.

          But for me, my advice to you, by any chance give time yourself to look around now, it’s about your age for marriage.

          • angelce says:

            Thanks for the advice!

          • Lucas Moore says:

            What a really interesting topic. I am still looking shocked at the points or rather reasons why some persons are not married. One of the ones that caught my attention was the reason 4 “you are not really single” i didn’t know people can be single and yet not be single. This is really expository and i appreciate the effort put into it.