My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,
Lately I was thinking about a discussion I had with a cousin of mine some time ago when I was in my 20s. She told me that I had to get married very quickly because after 35, I would have issues to have children afterwards.
Unfortunately, I had very demanding studies and after that I had a very demanding career, so getting married and have children to take care of them the way I wanted was just out of the equation of my life. Last week, I reached 33. Am I unhappy? No. I’ve never been happier in the Lord.
Why am I talking about my own experience? It’s because I want to tell you that you shouldn’t hurry to get married.
Now, you’ll tell me that you have to be young to get married and start a family. And you’ll be right. We don’t have an exact idea of the age of many women of the Bible when they got married. However, we can easily assume that their marriages were arranged when they were quite young to carry babies.
I also saw that many scientific studies show that the best age to get married for a woman lies between 28 and 32. Does it mean that for all the women aged beyond 32, marriage is out of reach? I don’t think so.
The Best Age For You
Well, the best age to get married for you depends on two things:
- waiting on the Lord’s time
- your own state of mind – if you are ready to get married or not
Why do I combine these two conditions? Because God will not give you a husband if you are not ready and mature enough to get married. Surely, you have to pray God to give you a husband after His heart; but you also have to prepare yourself and to develop the skills and qualities you’ll need to be an excellent wife – notice that I said “excellent” and not “good” because I believe that God wants us to be women of excellence!
In the same manner, you can be ready in your mind – but if God has not decided that your time has come, everything you’ll do to catch the perfect match will be done in vain. You might even end with a man who is not made for you, and that’s not what I want for you. Because I do believe that we all deserve to be married to gentlemen.
Every woman has her own path
Not everyone will have the same path as far as marriage is concerned. You’ll meet women who get married young and that’s good for them. You’ll also meet women who married much later and that’s also fine. The only thing you should know is that God is in control. Just trust Him as He has good plans for Your future.
Don’t imitate your neighbor who gets married young because you are sick and tired to stay alone. I know it’s hard and human to be with someone you love. However, when you do things that are not aligned with God’s plans for you, you’ll end up making mistakes that you will regret and not receive your blessings.
Let me share the story of a friend of mine which will illustrate what I am saying. I have a girlfriend who is a good Christian woman, she is industrious, she cooks well and she is pretty. Well, everything that a good man would desire in a wife.
However, she saw that her twin sister was already married and had children; so she decided to look for a man as well. She ended going out with a young man who brought nothing to her than sorrow and his own stupidity but she was head over heels for him.
Just few months after she started dating that man, her aunt came from Paris to Africa to introduce a young and bright engineer to her. She told him about her wonderful niece who was pious, industrious, and pretty, and that she would be the perfect match for him.
But when she introduced the young man to her, she was disappointed to see that she was already in a relationship… and pregnant!
And by the way, the man whom she pursued so foolishly didn’t even marry her. He takes care of his child, but he wasn’t willing to marry her. Instead, when she became pregnant, he told her that everything was over between them. I let you guess how she felt. She missed a chance to be happily married and her boyfriend dumped her, leaving her to be a single mother and leaving her marriage perspectives being slimmer than before.
That’s why I recommend you today not to be in a hurry and to trust the Lord’s plans for you. He will give you the perfect husband in your due time, whether you’re young or older (and wiser!).
Well, that’s all for today! What is the best age to get married for you? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below!
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