The 4 Stages of A Relationship

My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,

Do you intend to experience a healthy relationship?

Do you want to know how to build a successful relationship?

In this case, this article is for you! You’ll learn the 4 stages of a relationship, and how you should behave with your man at each stage.

If you follow these stages carefully, you may end having a beautiful marriage, unless the Lord decides otherwise.

These stages are taken from the book Getting To I Do by Dr. Patricia Allen. According to this book, the 4 stages of a relationship are described as follows:

  • the perfect stage
  • the imperfect stage
  • the negotiation
  • the commitment

The perfect stage

This stage is found at the very beginning of any relationship. When you are at the perfect stage, you are usually happy and nothing can be wrong in the relationship.

You see everything through rose-coloured glasses, and you and your partner are on your best behavior with each other.

What you should do at this stage is take the opportunity to know each other better. This is the phase where you talk about your life aspirations, your dreams, and your goals together.

You must take the opportunity at this stage to discover his values, but also if he wants a lifelong committed relationship or if he just wants a fling.

Also, during this phase, the key words are: NO SEX BEFORE COMMITMENT. Ever.

Afterwards, you’re ready to move on to the next stage.

The imperfect stage

At this stage, your eyes are open and you realize that your mate is not perfect at all. You discover the shortcomings of each other.

During this stage in your relationship, you can decide what you can accept in the relationship and what you can’t.

You’ll find what is negotiable and non-negotiable in the relationship and if you want to call it quit or not.

It takes lots of love a man despite his shortcomings. Never forget that you can’t change a man.

Once you discover habits or values that you cannot bear or tolerate, leave him before it’s too late.

At that stage, you’ll have to learn how to handle conflict through mature and constant communication.

But if you accept his small shortcomings, then you are ready to move on to the next stage.

The negotiation stage

Once you have decided to accept your mate, whatver his circumstances and shortcomings, you enter into the negotiation stage.

At this stage, you’ll have to solve issues that will have an impact on your daily lives once you commit for good.

You’ll have to figure what you both want and what you don’t want. You have to take the decisions about:

  • your goals
  • your respective careers
  • the town where you’ll live
  • the number of children you want
  • your finances.

Once you solved all these issues, you’re ready to move on to the commitment stage.

The commitment

This is the stage where you secure a proposal and marriage from your mate.

After your diplomacy and your patience gave you the man of your life, you are rewarded with a secure commitment from him.

At this stage, don’t rush him into demanding marriage. Don’t manipulate him. Let him come to you by himself.

Generally, men fear commitment more than women because they are afraid of failures. They want to make sure that you’re the right woman.

And sometimes they test us to see if we are the right one for them. So, be patient and loving, and follow these stages carefully.

Your man will thank you with a wonderful ring and a wedding that you’ll remember your whole life!

To sum up, a healthy relationship has four main stages: perfect, imperfect, negotiation, and commitment.

That’s it for today! Do you recognize yourself in these four stages of a relationship? What stage are you currently in?

Please share in the comments below!

Stay blessed!

To get more insights about the stages of a relationship, click below to but Getting To I Do by Patricia Allen:

Read also:

5 criteria to assess before you get married

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God bless you all!


  1. Suz says:

    Every relationship has to go through all this stages for real and also understand that there are times when things will not be rosy at all. That is what you have said here and I like what you have pointed out in all of this. I think one of the most important stages that can tell how far the relationship can go is the imperfect and the commitment stage. This is good stuff.

    • angelce says:

      Thank you Suz!

    • evagreen221 says:

      Hello angelce! Thank you very much for sharing this with me. Sincerely speaking, from experience, the middle stage which is what you called the IMPERFECT STAGE is where many couples miss it and if you’ve noticed; a lot of break ups happens in this stage including mine.
      Thank you for educating me.

      • angelce says:

        You’re welcome!

      • Justin says:

        Hello Angelce, its really a good thing to understand the basis of relationships and most time people just go into a relationship without knowing what is needs that Is one reason why relationships fail. I really enjoyed reading through this article and people would learn to handle their relationship better .

        • angelce says:


        • Bogadi says:

          This is  a beautiful article that most single people should read before getting to commit .I actually wished I read it before I committed because some stages like the negotiations stage i got to be fully aware of them while already married. Such have a potential of putting strain in marriage. But I guess that just being aware of a stage one in and knowing that is normal is very helpful.

          • angelce says:

            Thanks for sharing!