Just as I am, without one plea…
My dear Proverbs 31 women in progress, greetings!
Do you know this hymn called “Just As I Am”? It inspired me the post I’m writing today. It’s about accepting your husband, just as he is; as God accepts all of us just as we are.
I am talking about accepting your husband, despite his shortcomings. I am not talking about main criteria before entering into marriage that I already analyzed in another post some time ago (please click here if you want to refresh your mind). No, today, I’ll talk about some “minor” issues which are not that important per se, but can be quite burdensome when you live with a man 24/7.
Here are some examples:
- his manners (e.g. you find that your husband is not polite enough)
- the way he talks to people
- the way he dresses
- his daily habits (e.g. your husband is not tidy)
And this list could go on and on, according to your specific situation;
You can be tempted to change him, and believe me, I can understand it because you are tired. You want him to be a better man. You want him to be more responsible and more mature. You want this, you want that, you can choke him if this situation continues…
Before getting on your nerves and asking to divorce, please consider what I’m about to tell you.
Focus on his better side
Decide that you’ll accept your husband just as he is. Believe me,it will be better for your sanity. Make a conscious decision that you’ll focus on his good side. Remember all the qualities that you found cute and made you happy to marry him in the first place.
I will even suggest an exercise inspired by Helen Andelin, the author of Fascinating Womanhood: on a piece of paper, write two columns; one with his qualities and one with his shortcomings. Then, hide his shortcomings and make a deliberate vow to start focusing on his bright side.
I can assure you that you’ll reap the rewards of your attitude!
Don’t cause him to rebel
When you decide to focus on his better side, you’ll avoid endless arguments and resistance from your husband. After all, you are his wife and not his mama. You are here to minister to him, not to discipline him. Moreover, men cherish one thing above all: their freedom.
If you start bothering him with these trifles, he will show that he’s not your child and will find his most cherished freedom in other places, such as hanging out with the boys all the time, or taking a mistress. You’ll end up bitter and alone. Please let your man breathe and be relaxed.
Don’t be a doormat
However, if your husband disrespects you, don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself. No proper man loves a doormat and sometimes, your husband will test you to see what you have in your stomach. I’ll discuss the kind of situations that are properly unbearable in an upcoming post.
That’s all for today! Do you agree with the fact that you should accept your husband just as he is? Please share your point of view and don’t hesitate to comment!
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By Helen Andelin