My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,
I hope you are well and that you are growing in the faith of our Lord Jesus. Today, I’ll talk about 5 unhealthy choices that women tend to make when they start dating and selecting their husbands. I hope it will give you the opportunity to avoid them and choose Mr. Right.
Why are these choices unhealthy for us? Because they are rooted in our low self-esteem. Most of times, we are so afraid to end up alone, or just to wait for the right person that we convince ourselves that we want to stay with that man, whereas nothing good will come out of this relationship.
In her book entitled Get a Life, Then Get a Man: A Single Woman’s Guide, Jennifer Bawden identifies 5 unhealthy choices:
- bad boys
- someone else’s husband
- men like Daddy (when your daddy is not someone to look up to)
- “takers” a.k.a. vampires
- sugar daddies
Please note that if you made these choices, I am not judging you. This is not my purpose. Now let’s start exploring these 5 types of men!
Bad boys are men who behave badly and are carefree regarding societal norms. They might engage in illegal activities – not all the time though. But what they have in common is that they disrespect women.
This is normally the kind of guy we are more or less attracted to when we are teenagers because they exude self-confidence and masculinity. They live dangerously and they seem powerful.
However, if you are attracted to this kind of person when you are not a teenager anymore, you have a problem. Why? Because their dangerous lifestyle can have lasting consequences on you. Just look at all the women who hooked up with gangsters to be convinced.
Moreover, even if he’s not tied with the underground world, his disrespect for women will be a problem for you. You’ll soon join the strings of women who were his victims.
Other people’s husbands
Have you ever heard the following sentences?
“My wife and I don’t get along anymore”
“I plan to leave her”
“I want to divorce her and marry you”
“My wife and I don’t have sex anymore”
“My wife doesn’t understand me”
If you hear these sentences from a married man, please flee! He just want to have sex and he’s playing with you and your feelings. He will never leave his wife for you.
Surely, you can have exceptions where a married man leave his wife. However, in most cases, it doesn’t happen. So, instead of waiting for something that might never happen to you, just leave him alone.
Married men will waste your time and your destiny. You’ll miss opportunities to meet good men because you are committed to a man who is not even slightly committed towards you.
Men like my Daddy – when my daddy is not someone to look up to
Here is the picture: your father might have been unfaithful, uncaring, or selfish. He might have beaten your mother. He might have been incapable of giving love to your mother and yourself. But the man you choose is exactly daddy’s replica in many ways.
Most women tend to reproduce what their mothers did and choose men who are like their fathers because that’s their idea of normality. They think that having a man who is not caring is normal, because that’s the way they grew up and they never knew something else.
If you are in this position, be aware of it and pray about it. And look for a person who is radically different from your father.
A vampire is a person who is selfish with his time, his affection and his money. However, he will demand more of you and will take advantage from you at every level. He will suck up your time, your money, your dreams, until you’re worth nothing to him anymore.
He would even suck your blood if he could. And for what result? You will have lost your core personality, your focus, and even your life because you let yourself being sucked up by a negative person.
A sugar daddy is a man who offers you money in exchange of companionship. This kind of relationship is a financial arrangement where everybody is supposed to be satisfied: the woman has money, and the man gets what he gets.
Well, don’t get me wrong: when you date a man, he should be generous with you. He should be generous with his time and his money. He should give you gifts. However, he should never consider you as a trophy. He should behave in such a manner because he has feelings for you and because he loves you.
I know women who are satisfied with this kind of relationship. Good for them. Personally, I am not that cunning and calculating. I als think that when you are under this kind of arrangement, you are trapped because of money. You are trapped because you can’t live without luxuries your sugar daddy gives you.
And he knows that. And what is the result? You’re more subservient and under all the glitter, you are sad and you feel inadequate in this loveless relationship.
Don’t be fooled by all the money and luxuries of the world. Focus of a man’s character, not on his riches.
Well, that’s all for today! Do you know other unhealthy choices of men? Please share in the comments below!
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