My dear fellow Proverbs 31 woman in progress!
A couple of years ago, I was reading a book about preparation for marriage – well, I am still single but you’d better be prepared to get married, don’t you think? I arrived at a page describing the basic needs of men and women to be fulfilled in a couple to have a happy marriage. It certainly means that if love is the basis of a wonderful marriage, it should nevertheless take, as Martin Luther said, a lot of work and prayers.
So here are the 5 basic needs of men, according to the book I read – and no, I won’t talk about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs! This is not a marketing course, sorry…
A loving couple in bed
Sex is indeed important for a man, ladies, not only because they are “two-legged animals” who have huge sexual needs, but also because sex matches emotional feelings when a man is truly in love.
I am not saying that men (and women nowadays) are not capable of separating love and sex. I am saying that when a man is in love with a woman, sex has also a spiritual meaning for them. So as women, we should understand the connection between sex, romance and tenderness to win our men.
Oh, and by the way, sex is only for your husband and both of you must remain faithuful to one another. I remember the apostle Paul saying the husband’s body belongs to his wife and the wife’s body belongs to her husband. Sex is that important for men that I have two examples in French history:
- Madame de Maintenon, Louis XIV’s secret wife, was complaining about her husband’s huge sexual needs to her confessor and asked whether she could avoid what she called “painful situations”. Her confessor told her not to do so, otherwise her husband could lose his mind without sex! Can you imagine that? For the record, Louis XIV was said to be very sexually active, even at an advanced age.
The beautiful and pious Madame de Maintenon
- King Louis XV was faithful to his wife until she decided to close the door of her bedroom and not to satisfy the sexual needs of her husband because she had ten pregnancies. The King therefore decided to take mistresses (the most famous ones are the Marquise de Pompadour and the Comtesse du Barry).
Louis XV’s wife
A happy couple biking together
Women should share her husband’s hobbies or at least, take some interests in them; so that they can have conversations about them. If you have complete separate lives, I suggest that you encourage your husband to pursue the hobbies he enjoys, whereas he does the same for you.
You just have to find activities where you take pleasure to be together. If you need an example, it is said that the Duchess of Cambridge took interest in polo she didn’t know anything about it to please her husband.
The exquisite Duchess of Cambridge
The magnificent Queen Esther
Women must keep in shape and beautiful so that their husband can be proud of them in public and attracted to them in private. However, I know many women who were beautiful at the beginning of their marriage and who totally neglected themselves as time passed by.
I am not saying that you should look like a model (they are heavily airbrushed on their pictures by the way). But you should healthy and beautiful by adopting healthy habits, as well as appropriate dress and hairstyle. Think about the examples below:
- Diane de Poitiers (mistress of the French King Henry II) managed to remain beautiful even in her sixties (and hence to keep the love of the King) because she had an incredibly modern routine for the Renaissance era: exercise, lots of sleep, no toxic cosmetics, good hygienic habits, self-discipline
The fascinating Diane de Poitiers
- On the contrary, Madame de Montespan, one of the most famous mistress of Louis XIV, was an exquisite beauty who spoilt her appearance by her love of food and lack of exercise (however, she can be excused because she had nine pregnancies!). She became really fat and this contributed to her disgrace; as well as her diva character and her possible involvement in the Affaire des Poisons.
The fierce and glorious Madame de Montespan
Being a domestic goddess
Homemaker, wife and mother
We should create a home, a safe haven where a peaceful and loving atmosphere reigns for our husbands and children. Remember that as women, we are responsible of making our homes and that “the wise woman builds her home” (Proverbs 14.1).
Put your home in order. Let your husband relax. If you remember my first post on homemaking, I said that homemaking reflects your level of spiritual maturity. If you have sufficient financial means, you can hire housekeepers. But you should never forget that in the end, you are ultimately responsible for your home.
Admire your husband
Isn’t he wonderful?
You are his helpmeet and his partner; so be proud of him. Be his biggest supporter. Boost his self-confidence. Stop being critical if you don’t have anything constructive to say. Learn to appreciate him and what he does for you and your family. Help him to reach his full potential.
I do really believe that a woman has the power to make her man or to break him, just by her attitudes.
What do you think of the 5 basic needs of men? Please share your point of view!