5 Bad Reasons to Get Married

 

 

Hello, my dear sisters in Christ!

Today, I am going to discuss about bad reasons to get married.

To me, marriage is a wonderful institution created by God in the Garden of Eden to reflect His Glory and to build families which are the foundations of our society.

 

wedding 1

Marriage is a serious commitment thay you should take for good reasons

 

However, people get married sometimes for bad reasons.

I have identified five bad reasons to get married:

  • selfishness
  • conformism
  • security
  • rebellion
  • revenge

Selfishness

When you get married by selfishness, it means that you consider your marriage to be an extension of your own self. You marry someone because it makes you look good and admired by everyone. For example, you will show off your big ring, or how handsome your man is, or how rich your husband is… just to reassure yourself about your value as an individual.

big engagement ring

Did you see my ring?

 

In this case, you will end up very unhappy. Marriage is not a “me” thing; it’s an “us” thing.

 

Conformism

married friends

I want to get married like my friends

 

Getting married by conformism means that you want to get married because everyone around you is getting married and you don’t want to feel bizarre or strange (I know it’s hard, believe me…); so you marry to continue to evolve in your friends’ circle. People who get married by conformism also undergo a huge social pressure to get married, maybe because it is dictated by their social background or their customs.

However, let me tell you something: if your union is not approved by God and is merely men’s wishes, it will fail. If you get married, it should be because you feel it’s time for you to be married, not because you are afraid to end up alone.

 

Security

Marrying for security issues involves a lot of situations: you can get married because you don’t want to take decisions and you want someone to take care of everything, so that you won’t have to think by yourself. You want to get married so that you’ll be cuddled your whole life.

immatur woman

Please baby take care of everything, I don’t want burdens…

Now don’t get me wrong: your husband should cherish you and love you. However, marriage is not an easy journey. You’ll have ups and downs. If you are the kind of person which wants to hide behind your husband for everything, it means that you are not mature enough to consider marriage. Marriage is for grown ups. You are supposed to be your husband’s partner, not his child.

 

Rebellion

Here is the case: you date someone that you really love. You think you’re meant to be, but you are the only one to see it. Your parents think he is a guy for you, your friends think he has an awful behaviour towards you; but you don’t want to listen to them.

You get married because it’s you against the world. You feel like being transgressive lovers, like Romeo and Juliet. However, remember that Romeo and Juliet end up dead.

romeo and juliet

Romeo and Juliet

This case concerns mostly very young people. In your case, take your time and listen to good advice, especially your parents’advice because they are much more experienced. I know that there are particular cases and that sometimes parents have their own prejudice (e.g. religious/social prejudice), but most parents are wise and good source of advice. If you have a close relationship with your parents, listen to them!

 

Revenge

revenge

I swear you’ll regret your decision…

 

You were dumped by a former boyfriend and you marry the first one you meet just to feel good about yourself and show your ex-boyfriend that you are still desired and love. You want to be valued by the presence of a man at any cost, so that he will know what he misses.

Now, ladies, only God can give you value, since He purchased you with the sacrifice of His Son. You are very special to Him. Suffering is part of life and it makes us know that we depend on God for everything. Don’t expect being valued by marrying someone, but be aware of who you are because you are a child of God.

After reviewing all this, let’s remember that the good reasons to get married are love and the desire to build something together!

And you, have you identified other bad reasons to get married? Please share your point of view!

 

Stay blessed!

 


21 comments

  1. Stephanie says:

    This is an awesome article and thank you for taking the time to write. I also really liked your images too. I am divorced and one of my reasons I got married was first of all, I was too young and secondly, there was social pressure going on as well, which is your second reason.

    It is sad how common this problem is and I am hoping that many young woman will read your article before taking the plunge and making a mistake that they will soon regret.

    • angelce says:

      Dear Stephanie,

      Thanks for sharing your experience and for your encouragements as well! I do agree with you that marrying for the wrong reasons and especially because of social pressures is unfortunately too common! I hope that we can help young people to carefully think about people they will marry and to avoid poor choices! Stay blessed

    • Jess says:

      First of all, I love your writing style! You are blunt and tell it how it is. Also, not afraid to express your faith and your opinion. I commend you for standing strong in your faith in today’s society where many religions have been put on blast for one reason or another. Unfortunately, marriage has become a thing of convenience that can be thrown away if you get bored or want to move on to someone else. I agree with you that marriage should be a team and a union of two people that are mature enough to work through any challenges. Your “5 Bad Reasons to Get Married” is a great read! Thanks for sharing!

      Jess

      • angelce says:

        Dear Jess,

        Thanks for sharing your point of view! It’s true that today people have forgotten the sacred nature of marriage and think of it more like a contract that can be denounced instead of viewing it like a lifetime commitment. Fortunately God’s truth keeps us on track. Have a nice day and stay blessed

      • Diane says:

        Angelce, I read through your article and you have pondered some real life situations and given some very sound advice. Your article reads real well but there are a couple of typing mistakes found when proofing. I like your layout and artwork. Well done! It’s good to see another religious themed niche. Please visit my page. Blessing to you, Diane

        • angelce says:

          Thanks for dropping by! I’ll surely visit your page! Be blessed!

        • jCamden says:

          Wow, reading this was like taking in a breath of fresh air. In this day an time our children are bombarded with negative influences from all sides, school, television, movies, books, friends, everything! Girls are taught that a man or husband should do everything for them and if they’re not happy it’s their husbands fault. More than 50% of marriages end in divorce because too many people marry for the wrong reasons you’ve outlined above. I hope everyone reading this blog will take your words to heart and remember that marriage really is something that should be guided by the Lord. I look forward to reading more of your blogs and wish you the best of luck 🙂

          • angelce says:

            Thank you for your good wishes and don’t hesitate to suscribe so that you’ll be informed of my upcoming content! Have a nice day and stay blessed

            • Ellie says:

              / Wonderful blog! Do you have any helpful hints foiraprsing writers? I’m planning to start my own site soon but I’m alittle lost on everything. Would you recommend starting with afree platform like WordPress or go for a paidoption? There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any ideas? Cheers!

            • Julie Nourish says:

              Stephanie, You give excellent advice about the wrong reasons to marry. I am a wedding officiant and it’s very interesting to note some of the reasons you have given, especially when doing it for revenge or not seeing it. I have a daughter that cannot see what we are telling her. It’s true love can be blind or be blinding. Thank you for sharing this. Would you mind if I reference a portion of this article with a link back to your blog from my site?

              • angelce says:

                Hi Julie,

                Thanks for your comment! It’s refreshing especially coming from a wedding officiant. You can of course reference a portion of my post with a link to my blog. Have a nice day and stay blessed!

              • Sean says:

                Hi Elodie,

                Great post as always. One more reason may be feeling that you will ‘miss the boat’ if you don’t get married by the age of (insert whatever age here)?

                All the best
                Sean

                • angelce says:

                  Hi Sean,

                  Yes giving yourself an age where you should be absolutely get married is a nonsense, because you don’t know God’s will for your life.

                  I do agree with you.

                  God bless!

                • Boniface says:

                  Hi Angel,
                  That’s quite an interesting article and it is certainly beneficial to us readers when seeking quality and
                  informative information on pre-marital counselling and even those who are already married so that they can advise others. You know, experienced family women (Paul should have added men, too!) to teach the younger on family matters.
                  What should those who got into marriage for any or all of the said 5 points do once married for all the wrong reasons?
                  Wishing you a happy new year!

                  • angelce says:

                    Hello Boniface,

                    Thanks for sharing your point of view! Concerning your question about what should people do once they are married for the wrong reasons is quite difficult to answer; because each situation is unique. However, what I know is that God is against divorce except in specific cases and morever people sometimes feel trapped in a marriage they can’t bear anymore. I would advise these people to pray for God’s light so that they would be able to take the right decision. Hope that my answer helped!

                  • William Wise says:

                    Great post! Many young ladies fall into these traps. As to older women. I think one of the biggest issues I’ve seen in women is self esteem issues. They need to know who they are, be happy with who they are, and no what they want and never settle. Some women make bad choices because they are lonely and they accept whatever man walls into their life and makes them feel special.

                    Another problem I’ve seen is woman not acting the child, but taking on more of a mother role and not wife. They marry a man and treat them like a child and then angry when they don’t act like men.

                    • angelce says:

                      thanks for sharing! I totally agree with you!

                    • Mijareze says:

                      Hello Anjelica,
                      Thank you for writing your post with such fearless force. You’ve given 5 good reasons not to marry. My wife and I have been happily maried 39 years this March. I still love my wife, always have, as a matter of fact I appreciate her more now than ever. I guess because I am older now and I don’t know how long I will be around. So I make the most of every day. And, yes, God is goo!
                      God bless you sister,
                      Edward Mijarez

                      • angelce says:

                        Indeed God is good!

                        Thank you for your testimony!

                      • Marlaine says:

                        Hi there,
                        I married in my early 30s, very “late” compared to the majority of my friends and family members. I found a wonderful man, and nearly 5 years in now, I’m still absolutely loving it.
                        Your question about another bad reason to get married… loneliness. I’ve heard it said that it’s easier to be a lonely single woman than a lonely married woman. I think that’s true. If you can’t learn to be content and fulfilled on your own, I don’t think a husband is the answer.
                        Sincerely,
                        Another woman striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman. 🙂

                        • angelce says:

                          Dear Marlaine,

                          Thank you for your input, I totally agree with you ! This is actually the topic of my next post so stay tuned ! God bless you !

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