Hello, my dear sisters in Christ!
Today, I am going to discuss about bad reasons to get married.
To me, marriage is a wonderful institution created by God in the Garden of Eden to reflect His Glory and to build families which are the foundations of our society.
Marriage is a serious commitment thay you should take for good reasons
However, people get married sometimes for bad reasons.
I have identified five bad reasons to get married:
When you get married by selfishness, it means that you consider your marriage to be an extension of your own self. You marry someone because it makes you look good and admired by everyone. For example, you will show off your big ring, or how handsome your man is, or how rich your husband is… just to reassure yourself about your value as an individual.
Did you see my ring?
In this case, you will end up very unhappy. Marriage is not a “me” thing; it’s an “us” thing.
I want to get married like my friends
Getting married by conformism means that you want to get married because everyone around you is getting married and you don’t want to feel bizarre or strange (I know it’s hard, believe me…); so you marry to continue to evolve in your friends’ circle. People who get married by conformism also undergo a huge social pressure to get married, maybe because it is dictated by their social background or their customs.
However, let me tell you something: if your union is not approved by God and is merely men’s wishes, it will fail. If you get married, it should be because you feel it’s time for you to be married, not because you are afraid to end up alone.
Marrying for security issues involves a lot of situations: you can get married because you don’t want to take decisions and you want someone to take care of everything, so that you won’t have to think by yourself. You want to get married so that you’ll be cuddled your whole life.
Please baby take care of everything, I don’t want burdens…
Now don’t get me wrong: your husband should cherish you and love you. However, marriage is not an easy journey. You’ll have ups and downs. If you are the kind of person which wants to hide behind your husband for everything, it means that you are not mature enough to consider marriage. Marriage is for grown ups. You are supposed to be your husband’s partner, not his child.
Here is the case: you date someone that you really love. You think you’re meant to be, but you are the only one to see it. Your parents think he is a guy for you, your friends think he has an awful behaviour towards you; but you don’t want to listen to them.
You get married because it’s you against the world. You feel like being transgressive lovers, like Romeo and Juliet. However, remember that Romeo and Juliet end up dead.
Romeo and Juliet
This case concerns mostly very young people. In your case, take your time and listen to good advice, especially your parents’advice because they are much more experienced. I know that there are particular cases and that sometimes parents have their own prejudice (e.g. religious/social prejudice), but most parents are wise and good source of advice. If you have a close relationship with your parents, listen to them!
I swear you’ll regret your decision…
You were dumped by a former boyfriend and you marry the first one you meet just to feel good about yourself and show your ex-boyfriend that you are still desired and love. You want to be valued by the presence of a man at any cost, so that he will know what he misses.
Now, ladies, only God can give you value, since He purchased you with the sacrifice of His Son. You are very special to Him. Suffering is part of life and it makes us know that we depend on God for everything. Don’t expect being valued by marrying someone, but be aware of who you are because you are a child of God.
After reviewing all this, let’s remember that the good reasons to get married are love and the desire to build something together!
And you, have you identified other bad reasons to get married? Please share your point of view!