What Is The Best Age To Get Married?

 


My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,

Lately I was thinking about a discussion I had with a cousin of mine some time ago when I was in my 20s. She told me that I had to get married very quickly because after 35, I would have issues to have children afterwards.

Unfortunately, I had very demanding studies and after that I had a very demanding career, so getting married and have children to take care of them the way I wanted was just out of the equation of my life. Last week, I reached 33. Am I unhappy? No. I’ve never been happier in the Lord.

Why am I talking about my own experience? It’s because I want to tell you that you shouldn’t hurry to get married.

Now, you’ll tell me that you have to be young to get married and start a family. And you’ll be right. We don’t have an exact idea of the age of many women of the Bible when they got married. However, we can easily assume that their marriages were arranged when they were quite young to carry babies.

I also saw that many scientific studies show that the best age to get married for a woman lies between 28 and 32. Does it mean that for all the women aged beyond 32, marriage is out of reach? I don’t think so.

 

The Best Age For You

 

Well, the best age to get married for you depends on two things:

  1. waiting on the Lord’s time
  2. your own state of mind – if you are ready to get married or not

Why do I combine these two conditions? Because God will not give you a husband if you are not ready and mature enough to get married. Surely, you have to pray God to give you a husband after His heart; but you also have to prepare yourself and to develop the skills and qualities you’ll need to be an excellent wife – notice that I said “excellent” and not “good” because I believe that God wants us to be women of excellence!

In the same manner, you can be ready in your mind – but if God has not decided that your time has come, everything you’ll do to catch the perfect match will be done in vain. You might even end with a man who is not made for you, and that’s not what I want for you. Because I do believe that we all deserve to be married to gentlemen.


Every woman has her own path

Not everyone will have the same path as far as marriage is concerned. You’ll meet women who get married young and that’s good for them. You’ll also meet women who married much later and that’s also fine. The only thing you should know is that God is in control. Just trust Him as He has good plans for Your future.

Don’t imitate your neighbor who gets married young because you are sick and tired to stay alone. I know it’s hard and human to be with someone you love. However, when you do things that are not aligned with God’s plans for you, you’ll end up making mistakes that you will regret and not receive your blessings.

Let me share the story of a friend of mine which will illustrate what I am saying. I have a girlfriend who is a good Christian woman, she is industrious, she cooks well and she is pretty. Well, everything that a good man would desire in a wife.

However, she saw that her twin sister was already married and had children; so she decided to look for a man as well. She ended going out with a young man who brought nothing to her than sorrow and his own stupidity but she was head over heels for him.

Just few months after she started dating that man, her aunt came from Paris to Africa to introduce a young and bright engineer to her. She told him about her wonderful niece who was pious, industrious, and pretty, and that she would be the perfect match for him.

But when she introduced the young man to her, she was disappointed to see that she was already in a relationship… and pregnant!

And by the way, the man whom she pursued so foolishly didn’t even marry her. He takes care of his child, but he wasn’t willing to marry her. Instead, when she became pregnant, he told her that everything was over between them. I let you guess how she felt. She missed a chance to be happily married and her boyfriend dumped her, leaving her to be a single mother and leaving her marriage perspectives being slimmer than before.

That’s why I recommend you today not to be in a hurry and to trust the Lord’s plans for you. He will give you the perfect husband in your due time, whether you’re young or older (and wiser!).

Well, that’s all for today! What is the best age to get married for you? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments below!

Stay blessed!

Want to read more?

5 criteria to assess before you get married

5 Bad Reasons to Get Married

 

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21 comments

  1. Jacqueline says:

    Thanks for this interesting article Elodie.
    As a Christian woman myself, I agree that we should not rush into marriage and wait on God.
    I’ve been to so many ‘Christian’ weddings in the past and many of them have not lasted.

    Could it be that marriage is not seen as sacred anymore? People used to work hard at their marriage and ’till death do us part’ meant that.

    Back in the days, marriages seemed to last longer with people marrying when they’re in their late teens/ early twenties. I’m talking about in the Caribbean where my parents are from but I believe this to be true all over.

    What advice would you give to a Christian who is in love with someone who is not a Christian and would like to marry them?
    Thanks

    • angelce says:

      Dear Jacqueline,

      thanks for your nice comment. What kind of advice can I give to a Christian in love with a non-Christian? Hmmm that’s tricky because it depends on many factors and you have a lot of different individual situations. I would say that it is generally advised to Christian women not to date non-Christian men to avoid being unequally yoked. However, if you love him and that you consider marrying him, here are the steps you should follow:

      1) make sure that he respects your faith

      2) don’t try to convert him at all costs – pray for him if you want him to be a Christian

      3) respect and admire him as a man and be submitted as a Christian wife

      I hope I answered your question.

      Elodie

      • Steph says:

        Can I also add, can you ask yourself why you want to marry him?
        Can you also allow GOD speak to you on this matter so that you can be secure in your steps?
        I have come to know that the safest man a woman can be with is one who fears GOD. HE will love you not because he wants to but because he has to. He will not cheat on you because he loves you but because he fears GOD. Pls note i didn’t say a christian but GODFEARING. So please get your heart out if you can, seek GOD and let HIM direct you. Every marriage is for a purpose.
        So please, seek GOD! There are people who worked hard on their marriage and it didn’t work. Others stayed married but were only existing because there was no joy!

  2. Jacqueline Smith says:

    Hi Elodie,
    Thanks for your response.

    It’s great that you are humble in your response and look at it from the ‘love’ perspective. I’m sure God will approve of such a relationship too.

    Some people of the faith will say not to have anything to do with him because he is not a Christian.

    Thanks once again.

  3. SJ says:

    Hi Angel

    Thanks for the great article. I totally agree that in christian circles women usually get married a whole lot earlier and many have all their babies well before 30.

    I think that’s great if it works for them. Some are super matured and meet their spouse in church but we shouldn’t hold ourselves to the same standard. Thanks for the affirmation to run out own race and not look to the left or right and get distracted!

  4. Glory says:

    Well for me there is no specific age for marriage when it God time will bring ur husband. Because right now am 35 not married still trusting on God for my own husband.

  5. Suzi says:

    I absolutely loved this post! I used to think that I wanted to be married really young like my mom. I’m glad that I followed God’s plans for my life, and didn’t take “the plunge” too early! I totally agree with you that every girl has her own path. Personally, I think that age is irrelevant. However, each young or mature lady needs to make sure that this is God’s will for her before she makes one of the most important decisions of her life! Thanks so much for sharing such a unique and informative post:)
    Blessings:)
    Suzi

  6. Rachael says:

    Good one mam, it’s better to be single and happy working in God’s plan, than been married and frustration and unhappy, thanks for the word of wisdom

  7. Mma Obi says:

    I totally agree with you that every woman has their own path. What works best for your friend or sister might not work for you. We are created uniquely. Seek God’s face and everything will work out for your own good.

  8. Abena says:

    Thank you and may the Lord bless you for this insightful article.Like myself my family members are pressuring me to get married because i am in my thirties but i strongly believe God’s time is the best and with God all things are possible and He make things beautiful in His own time.Dearie never rush in live just because others have taken a lead for your own time will definitely come.Amen

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