Should Appearance Matter in Our Choices of Husbands?




But the Lord said to Samuel: “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart”
1 Samuel 16:7

My dear fellow Proverbs 31 women in progress,

I hope you are fine and that the Lord’s grace is with you. Today, I’ll talk about what should matter in our choices of husbands, especially concerning the physical appearance of your future husband.

Are you the kind of woman who focus on how handsome your boyfriend is before making your choice?

Don’t worry, I’ve been in your position some time ago. I even mocked a cousin who married a man who, in my opinion, was the ugliest man on earth.

But I changed my mind when I became older – you could say it’s wisdom or conversion to Christianity, I don’t know.

Well, today, I’ll share my opinion about it.

Choga’s sisters

Some years ago, I read a book written by a Young Nigerian woman called Choga Regina Egbeme about life in a harem – unfortunately, she died from AIDS few days before her book was published.

Well, she talked about her sister coming to the age of getting married. So her father arranged her a wedding with an important businessman from Kaduna. However, the man didn’t have a stunning physical appearance. He was short and wasn’t the most handsome man around.

When Choga’s sister saw him, she screamed, ran and came to hide in an empty well. The groom came back to her father and told him about his misfortune. The father then decided that he could go with another daughter who accepted her fate.

And guess what? The sister who married this businessman was exceedingly happy in her marriage and didn’t regret her obedience to her father. The sister who was supposed to get married to him at the beginning got married to a less important person and died two years later.



What we should learn from this story

Well, as women, we shouldn’t focus primarily on a man’s physical appearance to get a good husband. Instead, we should focus on a man’s abilities, manners and values.

Of course, I’m not saying that you should marry ugly men or something – don’t get me wrong. But if you have the choice between a handsome man who will probably give headaches and a man who is average but have nice qualities, choose the latter.

When I started studying famous women who had a satisfying marriage in the long run, I came across the life of Nadine de Rothschild. She was an actress who came from nothing and married into the powerful Rothschild family.

And guess what? She confirmed what I’m telling you now. She said that as far as men are concerned, she wouldn’t recommend to focus on a man’s physique, but rather on his qualities and his ambitions.

Believe, she knows what she’s talking about: she married a powerful man, just as she has always wanted. And for her, the physical appearance was not something she focused on.

You can have a handsome boyfriend right now who is also responsible – in this case, this is the jackpot!

However, before a man’s physical appearance, here are the things you must assess:

  • Is he God-fearing?
  • Does he respect you?
  • Is he kind to you?
  • Is he a good provider?
  • Does he have dreams and projects that you are ready to support?
  • Is he supportive of you? Does he listen to you and your opinions?

Well, if you can answer to these questions, then move on in the relationship – even if he is a not a prize of beauty.

That’s all for today! What do you think of this post? Do you focus on physical appearance when choosing a potential mate? Please leave your opinions in the comments below!

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Stay blessed!

 

Read also: 5 criteria to assess before you get married


12 comments

  1. unyime says:

    Yes, how can I marry someone I’m not attracted to? Someone I don’t admire just b/c he’s got good qualities, its hard for me

    • angelce says:

      I’m not saying you shouldn’t be attracted to someone. However, you shouldn’t make a decision to marry a guy just for the sake of his physical appearance…

  2. Adzaagee Grace says:

    Physical appearance is the icing on the cake for me. Qualities are priority but appearance matters. He mustn’t be Mr universe but he should be pleasing to the eyes. I beg to differ a little, the prophet Samuel was not anointing a spouse but a king.

    • angelce says:

      Hello Grace,

      I just took this verse to refer to the fact that physical appearance doesn’t matter to God. Of course the prophet was looking for a king but I think that the Lord encourages us to look beyond the look…

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